For brand new couples, the fact that you can’t always be with your partner comes as a little bit of a bummer. But for people who deal with Adult Separation Anxiety Disorder, this can be even more than a bummer—it can cause true fear. Separation anxiety is what happens when kids experience apprehension every time they are separated from their caregiver. But separation anxiety isn’t just something that happens to kids. It can happen in relationships, too.
Identifying Separation Anxiety
Getting a little bit sad or nervous when you’re about to spend a long time away from your partner is normal. But separation anxiety is when those feelings become extreme, invasive, and interrupt your daily life. So, if you get a little sad when you leave for a week on a business trip, that’s normal. But if you spend the time when your partner is away checking the news and scrolling on your phone for natural disasters, car accidents, and plane crashes where your partner is, you might have crossed over into Adult Separation Anxiety Disorder territory.
What Causes Separation Anxiety
There are a lot of factors that can place you at higher risk for developing Adult Separation Anxiety Disorder. If you had separation anxiety as a child, you’re more likely to continue to have issues with separating from your loved ones as an adult. Or, if you have other anxiety disorders like phobias or Generalized Anxiety Disorder (or members of your family do), you’re more likely to struggle with separation anxiety. Other issues like death or stress can bring this issue on, too.
How to Overcome Separation Anxiety
Separation anxiety might sound cute because everyone likes to be missed when they leave. But it’s important to address it for the sake of your relationship. Having enough space in your relationship to be an individual is crucial to its health and longevity. Some psychologists even suggest that having enough space in your relationship is more important than having an excellent sex life. After all, you need a minute to recharge in order to be your best self in your relationship. When two people in a couple cease to be individuals, that’s when unhealthy codependency sets in. Time alone is just that critical to your relationships.
Therapy will no doubt be effective in combating most cases of separation anxiety. When you work with a trained psychologist, they can help you look at the underlying issues that cause you to have an oversized response to separating from those to whom you’re close. You can also learn how to alter your reactions and, over time, reduce your anxiety in situations where you’ll be alone.
But a lot of people don’t have the money to spend on a good therapist, and some won’t have the time to dedicate to it. Fortunately, there are other options that can help you manage your separation anxiety.
Why Sexting Can Help Alleviate Separation Anxiety
Sexting is often in the news too often for negative reasons, but all the benefits it can have on a relationship are often overlooked, like the fact that it can help with separation anxiety. Sexting can help combat separation anxiety because it gives you a chance to feel close and connected to your partner, even while they are away. You can be intimate with them, and the intimacy will remind your brain that there’s nothing to worry about.
Some studies have estimated that two-thirds of people sext for reasons of reassurance about their relationship and to alleviate relationship-related anxiety. So, there’s no reason to feel odd about sexting to help reduce your concerns; you’re in the majority. Plus, if you have an orgasm, your body will be flooded with the stress-reducing hormone oxytocin, which can help you relieve anxiety on a biological level.
It’s also essential that sexting not become a way to avoid dealing with your separation anxiety. You can’t ask your partner to stay on the phone with you the entire time they are out of town. So, when you engage in sexting, make sure you do it for a limited amount of time. And then, if you start to feel panicked about your partner’s whereabouts or what they are doing, do something calming to take care of yourself, like reading a funny book or taking a bath. Things that distract you can help when you can’t otherwise regulate your emotions, so it’s imperative to take advantage of them.
Want to Find Someone to Sext?
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