Humiliation is the opposite of pride. Generally, its effects vary and depend on the personality of the person being humiliated and the person performing the humiliating act. You should expect that the consequences can never be the same. For instance, when a fellow student in school humiliates another student and when a parent does it to a child. This article will relate my humiliating experience from early childhood, the effects, and how I was able to survive it. But before then, let’s understand what humiliation means.
What is humiliation?
Humiliation means embarrassment, but it’s more painful and long-lasting. It’s associated with traumatic conditions that result from situations such as rape and physical violations. It mostly occurs in shame and the feeling that one does not measure up to standard or is not equal to others.
Below were the consequences of the series of embarrassment I received while growing up. Some of them affected me even as an adult. It’s not an open secret that almost all our psychological disorders come from childhood.
- Low self-esteem
As I grew up, I lacked the feeling of self-confidence, and I sometimes see myself as unworthy to benefit from anything. An example was an incident that happened during my college days. My tutor asked me to explain to the class how to write an effective essay when he delivered a speech on an argumentative essay about bullying. I couldn’t face the crowd to explain my view. I was so timid that my lips refused to move. I struggled to find the courage to speak, but words failed me. Then, I realized that my bullying experience was to blame.
- Inability to develop a relationship and trust
I grew up with the feeling that mingling with others to an extent can bring humiliation to me. I also found it difficult to keep friends in school because I barely trust anyone. Throughout my college days, I avoided any situation that will encourage me to be friends with anyone. I usually reject offers for a ride or help from classmates.
I found it difficult to let go off my past and continued to hold a grudge against my siblings for the way they embarrassed me. I became depressed and couldn’t find happiness in anything. I became angry at the slightest provocation and always hot tempered. I didn’t have friends and didn’t attend any social events. As a result, most people avoided me. But I wasn’t bothered.
How I was Humiliated From Early Childhood
My humiliation experience started at the age of five while at home with my siblings. My elder siblings humiliated me constantly in front of my friends. It first started with insults that seemed like mere jokes. Then, it escalated into bullying and using abusive words to describe me in the presence of my friends. I felt humiliated each time my brother called me a “slowpoke.” Most times, I reacted violently and fought him. But other times, I would withdraw like a snail into my shell and cry my eyes out in my room. I felt terrible, and sadly, my mom didn’t see it as a terrible situation.
I remember how she told me that we are just kids, and we’ll learn to live peacefully with one another and respect each other as we grow up. But the frequent embarrassment from my siblings was affecting me, and gradually, I became what they called me – a slowpoke.
At a point in my life, I realized that I couldn’t continue wallowing in self-pity. I deserve to live a happy life too. I thereby resolved to fix the situation and put an end to my suffering. I wanted to live a life filled with happiness, love and fulfillment. It was hard at first, but with professional help from qualified psychotherapists, I gradually found meaning out of life again.
Today, I’m a changed person. I love to spend my free time with friends. I no longer remember my past, and I’ve realized that forgiveness is a crucial factor in finding happiness.