When a relationship ends, you’re likely to go through many emotions. You might feel disbelief, anger, sadness, and even guilt, but the one thing that most people can agree on is that breakups are hard. But don’t worry. There are things you can do to get through this challenging time in your life.
Stop Trying to Communicate With Your Ex if There Is No Response
Stop trying to communicate with your ex if he or she doesn’t want to talk to you. In a Cosmopolitan article, Dr. Sabrina Romanoff, a clinical psychologist, explains that the function after a breakup is to process your thoughts and feelings without being intruded upon by someone else. Spend time with your grief and loneliness and learn to process it instead of running away.
You can’t control the fact that your ex no longer wants to speak with you, but you can control how you respond. If they block or unfriend you on Facebook, do not try to contact them using other social media accounts (especially their work ones). Don’t call or text them. Don’t arrive at their house unexpectedly, and don’t try to talk them into rekindling things via third parties.
Allow Yourself to Wallow in Your Pain and Sadness
It’s ok to feel sad. This is the first step in getting over your breakup. A study on breakup distress found that people who have recently broken up with their partners tend to feel depressed, angry, and heartbroken. They also tend to experience intrusive thoughts about the ex-partner, fear of being single, and social constraints such as criticism from others because they are no longer part of a couple.
Before moving on, you need to allow yourself the time and space to wallow in your pain, sadness, and anger. Don’t push through it or force yourself into a happy place because that will make it harder for you later. Acknowledge that this is a difficult time for you, and permit yourself to feel exactly how you’re feeling—even if those feelings are “I hate everything” or “I’m worthless.”
Talk to a Therapist
It’s hard to talk about a breakup with anyone, let alone a therapist. But talking to a therapist can be incredibly helpful if you’re going through a particularly nasty breakup and need advice on how to get through it.
The therapist can help you work through your feelings in a safe space where there’s no judgment and no one telling you that maybe your ex was right about everything and there’s something wrong with you for being so upset about losing them. Because, after all, therapists are trained professionals who know how to listen without judgment or bias; it’s their job!
Try to find a local therapist so that you can meet with them in person to talk about your breakup. They can help you even during busy hours if needed. For example, data shows that people often break up over a certain period of time across different states in the USA. If you are in Texas, chances are that you might get ditched between February 15th and 28th.
Hence, if you’re in Texas and want immediate help because of the breakup, you can find a therapist in Texas. Look for a therapist who specializes in relationship counseling.
Don’t Change Your Appearance Too Drastically
If someone has ever dumped you, you know how hard it is to watch them move on with someone new. Professor Terri Orbuch, Ph.D., of Oakland University in Michigan, says that hairstyles can remind you of the past or your previous relationship. When you break up, you change your hair, so you no longer have a reminder of the past.
It can be incredibly tempting to change your appearance drastically to forget the person who’s out of your life, but this isn’t healthy or helpful. Instead of changing everything about yourself, try incorporating new habits into your routine. For example, hitting the gym more often or taking a class at a local college.
Don’t Blame Yourself for the Breakup
A study published in the PLoS One journal revealed that depression-like symptoms could result from a breakup, even in individuals who do not have psychiatric disorders. You don’t have to be a psychologist to know that when you blame yourself for the breakup, it will only worsen the situation. When you do something wrong, you learn from it and move on. If you’re blaming yourself for things that weren’t your fault, then your ex is probably not worth remembering.
You can’t control what other people do or say, and you shouldn’t be trying to figure out why they’ve left you. It doesn’t matter! They are who they are, and it’s not your job to change them.
Make New Memories
You may have been in a relationship for a long time, and now that it’s over, you might feel like you’re starting from scratch. That’s ok! It can be good to try new things and meet new people.
A study found that people who keep virtual possessions after a breakup are more nostalgic about their relationships, prolonging the post-breakup adjustment period. But if you’re ready to move on, throw out those old photos and mementos. This can help you feel less attached to your ex and more ready to start fresh with someone new.
Join a club or take up a new hobby. There are lots of different hobbies out there that are perfect for making new memories. You just have to find the ones right for you!
Be more social. If you’re feeling lonely or down after your breakup, think about how much better it would make you feel if you were surrounded by friends all the time instead of having no one around except yourself.
Breakups are never easy. However, there are ways to cope with them and get through them. The most important thing is to allow yourself to feel all the emotions that come with a breakup: anger, sadness, and even relief if you’re lucky enough. You should also spend time with people who make you happy or do things that bring joy into your life.
Don’t blame yourself too much for what happened in your relationship; instead, focus on making new memories with friends and family members who support you through this difficult time.