Raising children is challenging for every parent, and when your child has autism a host of other hurdles arise which can feel overwhelming. Your child has unique gifts and abilities that make them fantastic, but these gifts can also make it difficult for them to communicate, regulate their emotions and accomplish tasks.
As a parent, you need to develop a whole set of new skills to understand and support your child, which can be time-consuming and emotionally draining. Many parents need to recalibrate, adjusting expectations of what parenthood will look and feel like, and that is completely normal.
In the wise words of Brene Brown, “Parenting is about raising and celebrating the child you have, not the child you thought you’d have.” This is so true, but parents of children with autism often need extra resources to support their child and maintain a calm, balanced family life.
Thankfully, the autism community is large and a lot of support is available. Here, we offer 6 tips for accessing resources to help you on the parenting journey and restore balance in your family life.
1. Begin ABA Therapy
If your child has recently received a diagnosis of autism, or if you have a child with autism who is not yet receiving therapy, a first step is accessing ABA resources. Many parents of young children, between the ages of 2-6 years old, opt for center-based therapy to give their kids opportunities to socialize and prepare for kindergarten. Early intervention in a clinic can make a profound impact on developmental milestones such as communication, following directions, and making friends.
The ABA therapy center that is best for you will have a program that fits your schedule and needs, and allows you and your child to feel comfortable.
2. Take A Course for Parents of Young Kids with Autism
It’s a popular saying that kids don’t come with instruction manuals, and for the parent of a child with autism, that saying rings extremely true. There are many online and in-person options for parents who have children with autism to help educate them on techniques that can be useful in helping support their children at home.
Project imPACT is a highly regarded coaching program for parents of young children with autism and related social communication delays. It teaches parents strategies to support skill development and socialization.
If courses are not your thing, consider listening to podcasts or picking up a book to access parenting tips. Author Kelley Coleman recently published the bestseller “Everything No One Tells You About Parenting a Disabled Child: Your Guide to the Essential Systems, Services, and Supports” that many of our developmental physician partners are recommending to families.
3. Talk to Other Families
Having a child with autism in your family can bring your family immense joy, but sometimes it can become easy to focus solely on the challenging aspects of your child’s personality and behavior.
Connecting with other families like yours not only provides opportunities for your child to engage with other children with autism, it also helps you feel more connected and less alone.
Consider looking for local support groups, talking to families at your child’s ABA therapy center, and making more connections with those around you who also have children with autism. The value of understanding how other families approach life and balance may help you unlock a new level of happiness and fulfillment in your home.
4. Ask for Help
Parenting really does take a village, and you’ll need all the help you can get parenting your child through their developmental challenges.
Many people have family members close by who are willing to help them take on tasks, run errands, or simply provide breaks for immediate caregivers. If you do not have family nearby, consider asking a trusted friend for help, or, if finances allow, consider hiring a caregiver with experience working with young children with autism. If space permits, consider a live-in caregiver. Companies like Apex match you with au pairs from Europe and Australia who have been trained as educators, therapists, and nurses. Your child may be entitled to local funding sources to offset respite care costs.
5. Give yourself Grace
It can be easy to assume that you should be able to handle parenting your child alone. When you realize you need help, you may think you have failed and find yourself living in guilt. The task of raising a unique needs child requires help.
Be kind to yourself and remember that there is no guilt or shame in asking for the help that you need. In fact, attempting to go the path alone and ending up burned out and frustrated is never a good place to parent from.
6. Find Joy
Your life with your child and family can bring you great joy, but you’ll need help and tools to find balance and stability. Consider reaching out to your child’s ABA therapy center to ask for a list of community resources and begin connecting with other families like yours today.
Brad Zelinger is the founder and CEO of Stride Autism Centers.
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