Toxic relationships take all forms. There are those with screaming red flags including violence, cheating, and utter disrespect. Then there are those that are subtle—the kind that sucks your life esteem like a tick. No matter which one you fall into, it can be quite a hurdle to take action and claim your life back. Often, the hope of a better future makes you stick around until it’s too late. To be safe from the drama, hurt, and abuse, save yourself now and avoid the relationship in its early stages. Here are five tips to help you do just that:
1. Watch Out For The Red Signs
Perhaps you are friends or trying to take things a notch higher. The chemistry and attraction blow your mind that you don’t see the little red flags all over. In most cases, you know something is amiss but your feelings try to push those aside and take center stage. Some of the tell-tale signs that things are getting a little toxic include ghosting, manipulation, disrespect, dishonesty, resentment, jealousy, lack of support, and poor communication. You shouldn’t have to deal with these things, especially when starting out. If you are asking yourself, “should I take the relationship quiz?” please do. It will help you discover the trigger areas and understand your relationship much better.
2. Know Yourself
This is more of a cliché but it is astounding how many people actually need this tip every day of their lives. It is quite easy to live in the shadow of someone else especially if you have a real connection with them from the onset. Sadly, if you keep holding on to such a relationship, things will get worse. You will forget who you are, what makes you tick, what your core values are, and more. Ever witnessed a friend or family member goes through years of violence and pure toxicity with their partner but don’t have the guts to walk away? The reason is simple: they are just so lost that they don’t know how to find themselves anymore. Don’t join the statistic; take a step back when you notice the relationship is turning you into a different person in a negative way.
3. Don’t Apologize For Wanting More
Most people have lowered their bar when it comes to relationships. Can you blame them? These days, getting someone to share a life with and keep the union running for years seems elusive than ever. Relationships are crumbling down like a house of cards. However, the opposite is also true. There are millions of relationships that are thriving. Granted, no union is perfect because no one is 100% perfect. However, you can fall in love with a person that actually makes you happy and excited about life for the long haul. Establish your boundaries. Realize what you can compromise on and what you can’t. Don’t settle for anything less than that.
4. Talk To Someone
Sometimes, we need a little help to see things from the right perspective. For instance, if your relationship is still in the fence as far as the toxicity index is concerned, you might need a third party to help you make sense of it. Pick someone you trust a family member, co-worker, pastor, therapist, or loyal friend—and pour your heart out to them. If you can find someone that actually sees things objectively rather than picking sides, that would be great. Let them give you an honest opinion of your relationship. They will help you realize if you need to take action or give it another go. In short, don’t be afraid to ask for help.
5. Get Real With Yourself
Finally, you have decided to call it quits. However, for some reason, you just don’t have the strength to do it. Are you perhaps too chicken to be single? Maybe you don’t know how to face your family and tell them you broke up. Or, you just have an affinity for conflict and drama. Get real with yourself and find out why you won’t press the quit button despite being constantly sad, stressed, and depressed in the relationship.
No one should ever have to be a victim of a toxic relationship. Life is just too short to live through the drama, sadness, abuse, and loss of oneself. Instead, take the bull by its horns now and find your way out before it’s too late.